You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
