Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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