Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
