She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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