covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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