I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
