Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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