I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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