my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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