is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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