I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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