So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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