Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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