Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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