So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize