Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
