it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
