end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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