Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize