I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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