I'm eating all of the evidence.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
