You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
