Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
