i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
