okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
