I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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