I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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