I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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