No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize