everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize