Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
