I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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