I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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