She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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