The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
