Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
