Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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