New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
