I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
