some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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