He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
