i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize
