What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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