He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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