I accidentally had phone sex last night
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
