The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
