Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize