You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
