am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize