We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
