he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
