she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
