put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
