Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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