Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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