sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
